This Time, It’s Personal.

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Everyone knows what my politics are — I’ve never been shy about them. But during this election politics have become increasingly personal, and I want to tell you how it feels for me, personally, when I hear that someone I know and care about plans to vote for Donald Trump.

For me, as a woman, every vote for Trump feels like a declaration that the voter doesn’t care about my safety or my rights. That the voter, frankly, doesn’t give a shit about me. About me as a woman, as a Jew, about my black friends and family, my gay friends and family, my disabled friends and family. It feels like a middle finger, like you are tossing us to the side. And it hurts.

I’m not the only one who feels this way. You have other friends and family members who are watching and listening, and doing the silent calculus of whether or not they can trust you, whether or not you are a person that makes them feel safe. They may not tell you this, now or ever. But they’re thinking it too, and re-evaluating their relationship with you, feeling out what it can and will look like after you declare your support for someone who belittles them and wishes them harm.

Donald Trump is on record bragging about sexually assaulting women. Donald Trump is set to be tried for child rape. Donald Trump has belittled immigrants, people with disabilities, and almost any other marginalized group you can think of. I’m not going to make blanket declarations that I’ll be unfriending people or cutting them out of my life. But you cannot be on Donald Trump’s side and also be on mine.